1/9/2010
prepared for starvation emotionally.^yesterday narrowly a busy day. posted a blog, managed finding missing parts of web stuff. sorted stuff lately. the office was full, with all members. i lingered for ten and more minutes after work time, till Internet on corp lan down. its strange but i know China surveillance acting upon. when i left the office, the street stood thick guarding cops. i waited for baby&his mom out of his music school after left notebook in dorm. after carried baby on my shoulders, i told him our family duty: 1. bring Chinese to God YHWH. 2. ruling China as an Empire rest in 1109 years to come. i told him his dad forever in God's set, no one luckier than him in the world. accompany baby haunting KFC, where his mom brought me ￥200 for life support. my financial deficit is about ￥1200, and i want to buy a new Dell game notebook about ￥6000 in this year end, ￥1000 for domains renewal or pay back for Taiwanese friend help me registering. God, my life is meaningful but don't act mean. bring my new life to me.
with money in pocket, i dined near office, with toast beef stick&manually sliced needle. in the restaurant the daughter weeping for her dad scorned her. i taught a lesson to his dad as well as some other family member of the boss, customers there till finished my dinner&left. in the night there r many crackers&fireworks. i know God's affirmative&new landscape disclosure from fogs loomed so far.
31/8/2010
blog upon threats from demons.^prepared a blog entry, including making a panorama of QRRS dorms, where i lingered for transit to my new marriage, from recent photos. its a bright morning, but sometimes cloudy. myspace ill responded, likely China surveillance broke between or spy hijacked my account there. praying God prepare me for looming starvation, for my finance turns poor.
read and d/l. created baby son account with radiotime. sorted portable. late night around 9:30pm, buzzed baby about perished situation around me, urged him his dad belongs to God, no matter on the earth or absent, he in God's arrangement, and never can human trap.
27/8/2010
dog shows teeth.^read lately. then the sin on facing desk returned, half drunk. just after the monitor left&work time over, it start to curse me. i tried to dial to the high rank, a Zhou, the department director, a Wang, and finally the corporate cops. the first two absent on the other end of phone. when a cop talked with me on phone, the deputy director works locally&the hard core gay in facing room along aisle talked to the dog&accompany it left. i praying God for able to do task i like. then the dog returned&continued to abuse me. i see the plot of machine dog, China surveillance. after peacefully sorted stuff, i left before 5:45pm or so. im glad with what i gained from web. after dinner i rest on dorms' garden bench, after several days' break for lingering in office after work time. lately in dusk i roamed outside. buzzed baby earlier before cellphone battery ran out. baby claimed he likes more his mom. i congratulate his mom for baby's claim. later near 8:12pm, i buzzed again, attempting to discuss with baby my unbalance, but he refused to talk in air. i love him so much. never in the world a character can split us, the holy trinity. God, today really brilliant!
26/8/2010
family domains expand to include more member sites.^last night has the idea to adopt short url for new subdomains under family domains. launched at once after settled in office near 6:30am, till near 3pm see dust down. new subdomain outlets more family blogs hosted on world prominent blog portals, like posterous (http://i.benzrad.us http://i.zhuson.com http://i.warozhu.com http://i.be21zh.org ), tumblr (http://t.benzrad.us http://t.zhuson.com http://t.warozhu.com http://t.be21zh.org ), or wordpress (setup finished but for wordpress charges for custom domain remapping, i laid it off). sorted bookmarks then. attending d/l let me restless. its such a great day, that i want a beer, but unfortunately i dislike it.
after all, God, save my works against China surveillance. bring me into new life toward my second marriage. save my beloved in this dirty world in nowadays China.
25/8/2010
dreamed of disputes with baby's mom.^yesterday is a full work load day. attending d/l till after 6pm. just after i ate some fruits baby's mom, emakingir buzzed in. baby just finished music lesson closely near my dorm. carried baby son walked with ema till she complained too late to linger. in night turned agile&haunted neighbors in the dorm to watch how they made fun with computer&Internet. in dawn dreamed twice disputes with baby's mom. its a quite bright morning. refined some family google apps' sites' pages. checked family emails routinely. God, saves my works which so concrete.
24/8/2010
a wonderful day with a raining start.^heavy rain in dawn. join office in rain. prepared&posted recent photo of dining out in a Chinese cuisine restaurant with a blog entry. delayed so far since morning for the publish of photos to web album yet can’t finish with a link. read all time. later chatted with baby’s mom, who prepared baby’s profile photo for his music lesson. it turns sunny or cloudy since noon. God, saves the beautiful day with my works. save my Royal of China, the saint of my Empire of China.
September 1, 2010 at 8:47 am benzrad
a bright day.^recent days dogs tried to exert terrorism over my cloudless sky. prayer for Gog more frequently echos in my heart. the facing devil’s abuse in fact an accurate plot in its least cost to defame me, out of work time&in drunk excuse. the next day after the show i left office 10 minutes earlier before work time over, as God lets, visiting telcom office to recharge my cellphone’s prepay, also narrowly avoid the dog’s second attempt to sell its dirt safely, now that machine dog, ie. China police or surveillance system promised keeping absent and worse, reward behind the curtain any humiliation&violence against me. another day passed. then in Sunday afternoon, the monitor, a gay now differentiate itself from its previous team, stayed in office to spy if i dare to join office out of work time, in face of possible abuse. i did as God lets, around 12pm&left near 5pm. the most sinful&repentless gay, the driver in facing office room, once colleague but not now, haunted my office far more frequent these days, monitor the well collectively money devised murder rolling forward. i see more and closer glory of Son shines over me.
in the afternoon, the gay on facing desk challenged me to a historical height. i just let it go&busy with my reading as God rules. its like its last day in office in a short period for its said to start its paid vacation, about 3 weeks. baby’s mom, God lets me see clearer again her sin, complained my deficit&refused again to loan me to buy a new udisk to replace my wrecked one. she never risk to loan me more than 500rmb, even i bought the family a new acer notebook of 4600rmb&let her using it now. i also offered her 1900rmb to buy a e-bike but she lost it as i covered in previous blog. i treat her with baby countless dining out, wash out thousand bad debt in my financial book for exempt of what she claimed missing expense under my title. all these done with my salary of ￥1100/month for 7 years, or start from 3 month ago ￥1600/month, while she enjoy 2500rmb/month, and other gray income as a common phenomenon in nowadays China. but never she trust me more than 500rmb. she busy with tutoring every day at cost of her due housewife duty but never report her earnings nor spent a coin from it for family expense. God, never allows me to review if my mercy on her enough, she just don’t deserve. let she contented with her money&burning brain for increase it, but just on the day of my glory, Son’s fortune to cover&stem out solely my baby son, God of Universe, Hope of China, to the most ready&blessed young man in Royal of Holy. God, never on the earth there is a creature can stand a split of second between baby son&me, the trinity; never the shine of Holy can a human resist with bare eyes or blunt mind. God, dad, Masheng, this is my prayer, my will to shine the land belongs to me, people under my feet.
now its a bright morning. i was so enchanted by the sunrise that i shoot more photos for the moment. the sin on facing desk still lingering in office. last night later than 9:30pm i buzzed baby son, told him no matter his dad in or not in the world, he belongs to God&in the summon of God. no one in the universe can beat his dad, and the Son, his dad, forever accompany him, God. baby son apprehend it without a pause to let me don’t bother with perished situation any more.
for picasaweb&flickr blocked within China mainland, the shit&dog dominated sinful land, here some digest of photos hosted domestically.
bright autumn morning sunshine in QRRS dorms.
panorama of QRRS dorms in autumn dusk.
August 31, 2010 at 11:57 am benzrad
Its a raining day this morning, exactly as Chinese lunar calendar indicting, Chushu, 处暑, summer heat is over. i walked barely in rain with my work suite, ie. notebook&camera, to join office, for every work day is meaningful for me, cultivation, accumulation, and harvest. last afternoon it also rained amid sunshine, its in fact a sun rain, i told baby its the most blessing weather. we had a longest time in years playing pc games together and succeeded most missions while his mom napped in another room. then we dined out. here r the moment we gathered&dined. baby naught a lot in the dinner, with his favorite food Guobaorou, flour coated pork. his mom these day frequently complained enough of him. after dinner, the rain stopped, we walked back, and i departed them on the ground near baby’s mom’s house.
after returned to QRRS dorms where i lingered for my new marriage, i directly join local church from bus stop, listened a nice preach by the male Priest, who elaborates more on bible, comparing his female pal who only recited poems or quotation from bible. the preach again discussed strong believing as my favorite. after the believers left, i expressed obligation to the Priest, we both felt blessed. on the garden of the dorm, i buzzed baby&his mom, who more and more felt at a loss in our once broken marriage. i buzzed twice to encourage baby lives in patience to see the bright days, for only with bitter or tasteless, we enjoy more the elation and sweat of bliss when it pours in. quite some girls in the dorms haunted outside around me. i can’t say other but it all can’t be more accomplished.
in the night, i roamed in dorm, reviewing my good time and ahead. sometimes i can’t but sang loudly. i also drank a bit. God, u see how close the day of my wedding beset. my baby son badly need a new mother to cook him delicacy. i badly need a soul of girl accompanies&shares our love to u, the Mightiest. God, rid me of anxious, bring my girls to me, to my new Empire of China.
That’s my another happy weekends.
Ps:delayed so long since last morning for the publish of photos via email, yet can’t finish blogging before including the link of the album. read all time. later chatted with baby’s mom, who prepared baby’s profile photo for his music lesson. it turns sunny or cloudy since noon. God, saves the beautiful day with my works. save my Royal of China, the saint of my Empire of China.
for picasaweb&flickr blocked within China mainland, the shit&dog dominated sinful land, here some digest of photos hosted domestically.
benzrad, 朱子卓, in restaurant amid a sunrain, shot by warrenzh, 朱楚甲.
baby son posed for shot for an profile photo for his music class, after dined out.
August 24, 2010 at 2:59 pm benzrad
these 2 or 3 days mostly pale, but its dusk mostly in lovable breeze. i spent more time on the garden bench wondering my new life with my beloved girls. the bench had been a hot place, frequented by quite some QRRS dormers, some of them surely gays. last night i lingered outside latest, reviewing painful waiting for my absent girls, esp. girl zhou. returned to dorm, i talked with God, Masheng for quite some time. crackers outside echoes my thought and judge. i got view of men and women, God’s setting to balance them. i saw my baby son, warrenzh, God of Universe, his way straight to fame and glory, all of saint. in the light of joy, i tried google picasa’s new feature to make a movie from his avatars through our published album. i hope next gathering he will surprised by the movie.
its a brightest morning in this week. the office had to shelter sun-ray with curtains. i universally so glad to see the bright. God, my only complain is my girls’ beautiful life’s gliding with fading perfume, please let me join them sooner!
Ps: China censorship likely now underwent new blocking tool, like long time rumor, whitelist filter, reportedly on web quite some sites inaccessible now. i attempted to post photos via email from start of morning yet didn’t publish them now even email sent for hours. God, u see my moment with Gospel.
20/8/2010
imply google album’s binding with profile.^during reading got news of the new feature, binding picasaweb with google profiles. so launched since last afternoon. China surveillance broke amid twice, a sandstorm also blew lots of sand on my desk during the operation. this morning turns out a brilliant morning, i just finished operation over family google albums, even google analytics tracking code yet be saved, neither in chrome nor in firefox, likely China censorship still torn down the page elements between. God, saves my works.
19/8/2010
2 cloudy days.^yesterday mostly a pale day. read all time. dozed awhile amid heavy dirt from facing desk’s evil. near end of work time, restored os for lagging. shot some photos for flowers in QRRS dorms garden&sunset, which turns hot redden near the end of day. slept earlier after washed vest. a blister grows on center of the sole of my foot, causing pains, but disappeared this morning, which again a cloudy&windy morning. God, redemption for too proud is ready, brings back my eyes-candy sooner. in this silent pale morning, i felt even lonelier, without my beloved girls.
18/8/2010
a day in heavy dirt.^last night in pubic lavatory of the dorm, i told a new QRRS graduate that every morning i woke up with fresh hope. this morning i first time join office later than 7:30am. read most of work time. baby’s mom, emakingir, rarely logon her gmail in her summer vacation but did this morning, so i video chatted with her&our baby son. yesterday she mimic baby son’s claim how he likes toast mutton stick, and suggested arranging next dine out. then i told her my last month salary suffered a loss of half of it, only earned ￥760. the reason i got today is the company deficit of orders&total stopped streamline last month. ema didn’t complained the moment, but this time in video she quite quick sheered my suggestion to arrange dining out this week. God, Masheng, i put my Royal’s life support on u, for i will reward u ten and hundred of that amount in my Empire of China. u know what i mean, Masheng, i only receive ur meal now and year ahead, let our baby son in happy time and free of anxiousness of needs.
the facing gay all time challenged when i busy. the sin barely stick out his ugly head to gawk at me for minutes when sin torn him apart on position in front of me, in order to show his failure&loss. there is not shame in his sinful life, but death-matching profaning. God times and times let me be my own&walk my road straight, for the hell for the evil never need a second to review. the office already clearly shows a stage of sins, mainly gays. i spent a year to 20 years there to manifest the difference between me and wrecked, the untouchable glory of Son from the falling&sinking flash of the dark&lifeless on this eccentric land, thousand miles from my beloved hometown, central China. the land belongs to me, while the once and current have to descend&earthed by dusts.
after dinner, a gay again occupied the garden bench, so i roamed outside. then rest on it till dusk turns deep. a neat girl reminded me of my girl zhou, who in a moment stands in my inner sight so cute&vivid, that i had to leave outdoors to hold it dear inward. its a nice day, God, u see. this morning dreamed of 2 girls loving me. but i didn’t recognized their name on paper. met some Priests in dorm canteen, talked about my preferring more talks on bible rather than his/her own interpret, more holy revelation than preach or warn of wrong doing. the Priest didn’t elaborate it as usual. its pale in sky, but turning bright outside of my office now.
17/8/2010
family blogger blogs’ template improved.^a new work week, God sees how i cherish my timetable&right mood i was beset. read after posted daily tweet. find a nice web service, radiotime.com, to let me listening bible radio without player’s niche. customized my account there. after noon launched correcting mistakes on some family blogs on google blog platform, blogger.com, then tried its new powerful template designer, improved most family blogs there with beautiful interface. backup stuff near 4pm, then baby’s mom, emakingir arrived to send me some dates she bought, with baby son on her bike. baby son likes a beam enlighten my heart thirsty for joy&dry bright. help ema secure her qq account on road sending them to the grandma’s house, where a rich meal including fish prepared, after did that on baby&my account in office previously. after seeing out them, a tall girl reminds me of my girl zhou passed me by, informs how i m fortunate and in God’s bliss. after dinner rest on garden’s bench for a long time, wondering life with my girl zhou. a gay silently sat parallel on a bench on the other side alone the aisle. shits find way to upset people in their joy. lectured before personal cleaning, with QRRS’ new graduates. that caused me exhausted&got up this morning later than 7am. in dawn dreamed of alumni gathering&hot debate among us collegians. my 2rd elder sister also appeared in it. its a bright morning now.
16/8/2010
posted a blog including recent photos last Sunday. dreamed of exile.^late sleep till 10am. posted recent photos&a blog entry for my sorrow and missing of my baby son, who also missing me&want more outdoor plays&activities. posted recent photos&blog in office alone. the monitor joined before lunch time&left after an hour. buzzed baby’s mom lately near 4pm&found they haunting Fu-Mart&KFC. encouraged ema upon her proactive bringing baby into actions, rather than staying home&watching animation online or TV. after dinner in dorm canteen, rest in sunshine on bench in dorms garden, till shadow cover my lap. continued bathing in sunset in my dorm which on 3rd floor&facing the sunset. bought fruits after roamed outside. enjoy a banana on bench in garden, watched a group of boys and girls playing badminton in front me. God, blesses my baby son, rid him of boring or missing of absent like his dad, me. enrich him every moment with fresh idea&meaningful activities.
after a month i will hopeful see my girls, like girl Zhou once in QRRS, and the girl i met on train returning to Qiqihar from my second hometown journey. its a bright day today, even in sunset i can see the milk clouds missing for days in mid sky.
in night roaming in dorm, reviewing my situation. baby&his mom showered when i buzzed in. i listening music till went to bed near 9:30pm. in dawn, dreamed QRRS, my once&long time employer, and campus, represented by the Zhou, a high rank in QRRS, and a tall male math teacher in my junior middle school, expressed that they want me to leave. i felt evils drove behind the scene. then my collage alumnus, a girl, told me i was narrowly chosen to stay to learn, when we studying physical and mathematical methods to describe close shape. its a bright morning, when i got up exactly 6am.
for picasaweb&flickr blocked within China mainland, the shit&dog dominated sinful land, here some digest of photos hosted domestically.
bright sunset after a pale day.
early moon over QRRS front open space.
August 20, 2010 at 3:55 pm benzrad
